Safeword

From Free net encyclopedia

A safeword is a codeword or series of codewords that are sometimes used in BDSM to mean that a bottom or submissive is reaching a limit or for the Top/Dom to stop the sceneplay. Safewords are agreed upon before playing a scene by all participants. Many organized BDSM groups have standard safewords that all members agree to use to avoid confusion at organized play events. Safewords are also used in contact sports to avoid impending injury.

Sports usages

Professional Rugby Union footballers recognise the safeword "Neck". This is said, during a scrum, when a player fears his neck risks being broken. Players on both teams will recognise this and immediately release any downward pressure. A more common example is "mateh" in most Japanese martial arts including judo, which indicates surrender, usually due to an arm lock or a choke. In professional competition, saying "stop" or "help" does not indicate surrender and the opponent may continue combat. Professional wrestling also observes safewords; in the G.L.O.W. for instance, the universal safeword is "fuck", which a wrestler shouts to tell her opponent that a move is hurting her (chosen, assumedly, because it stands out among the normally "PG" language used in the ring). During Lifeguard training, the American Red Cross uses a "tap off" as a form of the safeword. If at anytime one of the lifeguard trainees feels that they do not have enough oxygen to complete an underwater simulation of a rescue, that trainee should tap the other person twice to signal that the rescue has been aborted.

BDSM usages

In BDSM, the safeword is generally used so that the bottom can scream "no, stop", etc. as much as s/he wants without really meaning it, and still have a way of indicating a serious desire that the scene stops. Accordingly, a safeword is usually a word that the person would not ordinarily say during sex, such as red, tree, anomaly, or even safeword.

Some partners have different gradations of safeword, such as yellow to mean "that hurts" or "stop doing that" without stopping the scene, and red to mean "let's stop the scene". In other circumstances the safeword may not be a "word" at all, but a signal like dropping a ball or similar, or making three clear and rhythmic grunts or vigorous motions in the case of a person who is gagged or bound. A common convention of tops putting a finger in the bottom's hand is used if the bottom has become non-verbal, such as may happen as they reach subspace. In this scenario the bottom squeezes a pre-determined number of times to indicate OK.

A common request from the top to the bottom, to check on their status, is to ask "What is your color?" In addition to red and yellow, green is a common safe word used to indicate, "I'm fine."

In the case of sexual role-play, some simply drop out of character to safeword, such as having the submissive address the dominant by his/her first name.

While many in the BDSM community consider safewords an essential part of safe play, there is a significant contingent that does not have any such term in their relationships or their play. Some of these people simply use the word Stop. Others rely on the top to monitor the condition of the bottom and stop if necessary, at their discretion. In such circumstances the bottom or submissive must have consented not to have control over the duration of the scene in advance.

Interestingly some of those who recommend safewords do not, themselves, use them though this is not often discussed in public. There is an undercurrent assumption that play without safewords is an "advanced" technique and should not be advocated in the hearing of novices. BDSM activity without a safeword is regarded by many as inadvisable and dangerous. Ignoring safewords is considered dishonorable and a deeply immoral practice in the BDSM community.

A comedic use of the safeword situation is present in the movie Eurotrip, where the not-too-intelligent Cooper accidentally gets into a Dutch S&M club, Club Vundersexxx. The safeword is an extremely long made-up Dutch phrase containing a lot of special characters, which Cooper is unable to pronounce. One attempt at saying it is so mangled that he actually is requesting a particularly painful anal probe.

Common safewords

• Aardvark (according to the old alt.sex.bondage FAQ)
• Alpaca
• Tree
• Red
• Hat
• Eightball
• Abnormal
• Safeword
• Banana
• Potato Salad
• Purple Alligator (sometimes rendered under extreme situations as "Purple Fucking Alligator!")
• Pineapple

Some users of the Green/Yellow/Red safeword spectrum have been known to add an anti-safeword -- "Beige" (as in, "I think I'll paint the ceiling beige").de:Safeword sv:Stoppord