The Aristocrats

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For the 1970 Disney animated film with a similar title, see The Aristocats.

The Aristocrats (also known as The Debonaires and The Sophisticates) is a joke which is alleged to have been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era, and often only among an audience of other comedians. In 2005 a documentary about the joke and its history titled, "The Aristocrats", was released in theaters by ThinkFilms. The Documentary was the brainchild of Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza and was edited by Emery Emery. In publicity for the 2005 documentary film about the joke, it has been referred to as "the world's funniest joke" or "the world's worst joke". It may be either depending on who's telling it, who's listening and the innumerable variations upon the theme. It is rarely told the same way twice.

The joke is something of a game in which those who tell it try to top each other in terms of shock value. This was also used as an inside joke by comedians to test each other's mettle. Throughout the history of the joke, it has evolved from a clichéd staple of vaudevillian humor into a postmodern anti-joke.

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

1 The joke
- 1.1 Three parts
- 1.2 An example
2 History in print
3 2005 film
- 3.1 Notable comedians who appear in the film
4 Reverse Aristocrats Joke
5 See also
6 External links and sources
- 6.1 The movie

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The joke

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Three parts

This joke almost always has these elements — alternative versions may change this form, but such versions tend to assume that the audience is already familiar with the joke:

The setup: The joke always begins with a "family act" going in to see a talent agent.

Those who meet the agent can include the whole family, or just one family member (usually the father).
The agent asks (sometimes after saying that he's not interested, and a plea from the father) what they do.
If the whole family is present, the act may be performed for the agent, rather than described.

The act: It is described in as much detail as the teller prefers.

Traditionally, the description is crude, tasteless, ribald, and often scatological.
While most tellings follow one of a few basic forms, the description of the act is meant to be an ad lib.
It should be as far beyond the boundaries of propriety as the comedian can muster. Incest, pedophilia, scatology and bestiality are common themes.

The punchline: The agent asks what the act is called, and the answer is always the same: "The Aristocrats!"

The punchline may be modified in some variants, but generally such variants are told only in a context where the original joke is known.
Because the sense of what an aristocrat is has faded in many countries, the final line may simply be seen as the end of a rather bawdy joke rather than a punchline. In some regions the name of the act is "The Sophisticates" or "The Debonaires".

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An example

This version of the joke is fairly short, and simply demonstrates the form. Actual performances of the joke can last minutes, and it is rumored that Chevy Chase used to hold parties at which the goal was to tell the joke for half an hour.

A man walks into a talent agent's office, and says, "We're a family act, and we'd like you to represent us."

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too old-fashioned."

The man says, "But, this is really special."

The agent says, "Okay, well what's the act?"

He replies, "Well, my wife and I come out on stage and she begins to sing the Star Spangled Banner while I take her roughly from behind. After a minute of this, my kids come out and begin to do the same, but my daughter's singing the original To Anacreon in Heaven lyrics while my son performs anal sex on her."

The agent looks uncomfortable, but the man continues, "Just when my daughter hits the highest note in the song, my son and I switch partners. He turns my wife around and gives her a Dirty Sanchez before having her perform oral sex on him. When the song's over and we're both getting close, we all stop and lay down on the stage."

The man smiles fondly as he recalls, "This is the best part: our dog then comes out on the stage, and he's trained to lick each one of us to orgasm in turn. He just goes right down the line, looking as happy as can be! We all get up and take a bow."

He looks at the agent and says, "Well, that's the act. What do you think?"

The agent just sits in silence for a long time. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?"

"The Aristocrats!"

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History in print

The Aristocrats appears on page 987 of Gershon Legman's Rationale of the Dirty Joke, Vol. 2, published in 1975 [1]. Legman retells the joke, complete with its traditional vaudevillian flourishes, though he does not attribute the joke to vaudeville roots. Instead, Legman learned the joke from a young man who grew up in a broken home.

In a 2005 interview, UK comic Barry Cryer claims to have heard the joke "fifty years ago... but the punchline wasn't 'The Aristocrats,' it was 'The Debonairs' or 'The Sophisticates'".[2]

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2005 film

A film called The Aristocrats premiered at the 2005 Sundance Film Festival. Co-produced by Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza, directed by Provenza and edited by Emery Emery, the film is based on hours of digital video taken over several years, featuring comedians talking about and telling their versions of the joke. It includes the previously unaired footage of Gilbert Gottfried's telling of a version of the joke at a Comedy Central/Friars Club roast of Hugh Hefner.

The Aristocrats was Johnny Carson's favorite joke, and the film is dedicated to him.

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Notable comedians who appear in the film

The following notable comedians contributed versions of the joke and/or substantial commentary:

Many other comedians were filmed but not included due to time constraints. According to a letter to critic Roger Ebert from Penn Jillette, Buddy Hackett and Rodney Dangerfield were both intended to be included, but died before they could be filmed (although some sources suggest Hackett insisted on being paid). Jillette also indicated that, this being Johnny Carson's favorite joke, Carson was also invited to appear, but declined.[3]

Although considered a highlight of the film by some critics, The New Yorker reported that Sarah Silverman's autobiographical telling of the joke, in which she claimed to have actually been one of the Aristocrat performers, and which culminated in a joke involving veteran talk show host Joe Franklin, reportedly led to Franklin considering a defamation lawsuit against the actress.[4] On the DVD commentary track, Paul Provenza indicated that he had explained to Franklin that it was only meant to be a joke, and defended Silverman by calling her straight-faced performance Academy Award caliber.

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Reverse Aristocrats Joke

Reverse aristocrats jokes are jokes in which follow the style of aristocrat jokes. However, they are altered so that the act is clean, and even beautiful, but the punchline is foul, so that a wonderful act is given a foul name. These jokes are also covered in the movie, with two examples given.

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