The Brittas Empire

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The Brittas Empire was a British television sitcom, that ran between 1991 and 1997. It starred Chris Barrie as the title character, Gordon Brittas, the petty-minded manager of Whitbury-Newtown Leisure centre. The main adversary was Councillor Drugget. Barrie appeared in this series concurrent with his co-starring role on Red Dwarf.

Contents

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Cast

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Main cast

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Recurring Cast

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Characters

  • Gordon Brittas, the manager of Whitbury-Newtown Leisure centre. Despite having an amazing amount of self-esteem and conviction to his work, Mr. Brittas is completely oblivious to the subtleties of life. This notwithstanding, the staff still listens to him and puts up with it... within certain limits.
  • Helen Brittas: Gordon's long suffering wife who is constantly popping pills and is slowly driven insane by Gordon. She knows how to handle him even if he is condescending and doesn't always let her speak at all. She tends to have a bit on the side... well, quite a lot on the side, really.
  • Laura Lancing: The Deputy Manager (Dry). She is very calm and organised, and is almost the only person who seems to be able to deal with Brittas. During her stay, she pretty much runs the centre.
  • Colin: The Deputy Manager (Wet). Colin is grotty, yet is qualified in many things, apparently. He cut his hand the weekend before the first episode started, and it did not heal through the entire show.
  • Gavin: One of the male staff members. He's fairly quiet and shy, but blossoms (somewhat pompously) on his promotion to Acting Senior Deputy Manager. He has a tendency to be caught in compromising situations with members of either sex.
  • Tim: Usually very cheerful, but quite easily reduced to tears and panic attacks. He's confident, yet very clingy to Gavin, his lover. Somehow Mr Brittas never realises this fact, yet all the other staff members know, and support them.
  • Carole: The unfortunate and often tearful receptionist. She has a tendency to bring her children to work and keeps them locked inside cupboards and drawers. Gordon always manages to upset her, no matter what the circumstance; for all that, she seems rather a favourite of his, and she becomes quite devoted to him... fortunate, as he is the unknowing father of her twins.
  • Linda: The perkiest staff member, a young lady with boundless energy and enthusiasm, who nevertheless always seems to get the short end of the stick. She's interested in alternative therapy and animal rights, and has clerical ambitions.
  • Angie: Gordon's first secretary, a young woman who is kind to those in need but mostly contemptuous of "Head Girl".
  • Julie: Angie's replacement is a sharp-tongued, incurably insubordinate young woman with contacts in the underworld and a serious disinclination to do any work, and who seems to manage to enjoy herself thoroughly in the chaos of the centre.
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Details

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Episodes

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.
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Series 1 (3 Jan 91 - 14 Feb 91)

  • Laying The Foundations (3 Jan 91)

Synopsis: The first episode. Mr Brittas arrives to find a very enthusiastic staff, and a depressed Carole, and promptly makes everyone want to leave. He causes a strike amongst the construction workers, and creates very complicated rosters. He is attacked by a table tennis champion with specially sharpened table tennis raquets.

  • Opening Day (10 Jan 91)

Synopsis: The Duchess of Kent is coming to officially open and tour the Whitbury Newtown leisure centre. He creates a rift in Gavin and Tim's relationship, insists on having a black person in the line up to show that he employs staff of 'all colours and creeds'. The pool is leaking, the boiler man thinks he's on a ship, Helen tries to warn Laura that there will almost certainly be things that go wrong. First it is too cold, then the heaters are on overdrive. And the faulty doors will not open.

  • Bye Bye Baby (17 Jan 91)

Synopsis: Carole is still keeping her baby in the drawers of the reception desk. Her husband is coming home. Laura moves Ben to the baby changing area to hide him from Brittas, but Brittas knows the baby is there, so asks Colin to go into the women's toilets and find a baby. Colin gets the wrong one, panicking the baby's mother, and Carole discovers the empty drawer and goes crazy with a fireaxe on the search for Brittas. And Carole's husband is introduced to his 'son', who is the other baby. And it's a different race.

  • Underwater Wedding (24 Jan 91)

Synopsis: An underwater wedding is being held at the leisure centre and the best man is stuck at the bottom of the pool. There is a drunk physically disabled man on the loose, Colin shoots Gavin with a harpoon gun, Tim gets hysterical and threatens Brittas with a screwdriver, chlorine gas is released.

  • Stop Thief! (7 Feb 91)

Synopsis: Brittas is convinced there is a thief in their midst. He has a series of methods to find out who the culprit is. Everyone is a suspect.

  • Assassin (14 Feb 91)

Synopsis: Someone is out to kill Brittas, injuring Helen by accident, and wants Gavin to help him do the deed.

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Series 2 (2 Jan 92 - 20 Feb 92)

  • Back From The Dead (2 Jan 92)

Synopsis: The leisure centre is quiet, until the word gets out that Mr Brittas is away in Bulgaria, whereupon it gets very busy. Helen arrives and informs the staff that Mr Brittas is dead.

  • Temple Of The Body (9 Jan 92)

Synopsis: Mr Brittas is horrified to discover women's underwear in his office, and is convinced that the staff are using the facilities for 'worshipping in each other's temples'. He segregates the sexes. He becomes convinced that the culprit is Gavin. At the same time, Julie is being hounded by some reporters for rescuing a dog from the river in the nude.

  • An Inspector Calls (16 Jan 92)

Synopsis

  • Set In Concrete (23 Jan 92)

Synopsis:

  • Mums And Dads (30 Jan 92)

synopsis:

  • Safety First (13 Feb 92)

Synopsis:

  • New Generations (20 Feb 92)

Synopsis:

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Series 3 (7 Jan 93 - 11 Feb 93)

  • The Trial (7 Jan 93)

Synopsis: an enemy of Brittas's is coating random items with glue and shady characters keep appearing in the centre. Of course, this can only lead to a bloody massacre in the squash courts, the felling of several OAPs and Brittas facing trial for multiple murder and drug-running.

  • That Creeping Feeling (14 Jan 93)

Synopsis: offended by his "individual figure and fitness plans", the staff are refusing to speak to Brittas; his diplomatic response is bringing in a psychiatrist to check anxiety levels. Meanwhile, a deadly tropical spider is roaming the centre and it's only a matter of time before it attacks.

  • Laura's Leaving (21 Jan 93)

Synopsis: while Brittas prepares to welcome Sebastian Coe to the Expansion in the Leisure Market Conference, Laura is off to a job interview. Helen is terrified that her absence will lead to disaster but, as Julie says, it's a quiet day and there's only the baptism in the pool to see to. It should be simple enough once Brittas has got Colin to turn up the heat in the pool - but unfortunately a concussed Colin doesn't approach the task in quite the best way.

  • Two Little Boys (28 Jan 93)

Synopsis: it's a busy day: the centre is gearing-up for anniversary celebrations, Gordon's brother - the Reverend Horatio Brittas - is visiting and 36 staff from a leisure centre in Guildford are visiting for their annual staff outing. Two problems though: Horatio is having second thoughts and the centre's oil tank is leaking. Brittas is concerned that the oil may seep into the water table and "poison small children swimming in the canal", so Colin decides it's safest to store it in the disused Weights Room.

  • Sex, Lies and Red Tape (4 Feb 93)

Synopsis: Laura's estranged Husband, Michael T Farrell is on the scene, desperate for an heir to secure his fortune. Brittas isn't happy and endeavours to get rid of him, despite being on a sponsored silence and finding out that Helen's about to be charged with shoplifting. The episode also sees the staff hooked on the drafts of a novel that Carole's just written - but her hopes of publication are dashed and the manuscript ends up as nothing more than colouring paper for Ben.

  • The Stuff of Dreams (11 Feb 93)

Synopsis: troubled by dreams about his own mortality and the future of "The Dream", Brittas is pushing age-awareness and resorts to disguising himself as an elderly man as an experiment. All he manages is to start a fight in Reception in which he breaks a pensioner's glasses. A disheartened Brittas starts seeking somebody on the staff to pass his mantle on to but is forced to stop when Helen goes into labour early and needs to be dashed to the hospital. Unfortunately, the pensioner with the newly-broken glasses collides with the Brittases' car and strands them. Unable to drive on, the only option is for Helen to give birth to the twins in the middle of Whitbury High Street.

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Series 4 (10 Jan 94 - 7 Mar 94)

  • Not A Good Day ... (10 Jan 94)

Synopsis:

  • The Christening (17 Jan 94)

Synopsis

  • Biggles Tells A Lie (24 Jan 94)

Synopsis

  • Mr Brittas Changes Trains (31 Jan 94)

Synopsis

  • Playing With Fire (7 Feb 94)

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  • Shall We Dance? (14 Feb 94)

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  • The Chop (28 Feb 94)

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  • High Noon (7 Mar 94)

Synopsis

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Series 5 (31 Oct 94 - 19 Dec 94)

  • The Old, Old Story (31 Oct 94)
  • Blind Devotion (7 Nov 94)
  • Brussels Calling (14 Nov 94)
  • The Lies Have It (21 Nov 94)
  • The Boss (28 Nov 94)
  • Pregnant! (5 Dec 94)
  • UXB (12 Dec 94)
  • The Last Day (19 Dec 94)
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Special

  • In the Beginning ... (27 Dec 94)
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Series 6 (27 Feb 96 - 23 Apr 96)

  • Back With A Bang (27 Feb 96)
  • Body Language (12 Mar 96)
  • At The Double (26 Mar 96)
  • A Walk On The Wildside (2 Apr 96)
  • We All Fall Down (9 Apr 96)
  • Mr Brittas Falls in Love (16 Apr 96)
  • Snap Happy (23 Apr 96)
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Short special part of Children In Need

  • 22 Nov 1996, BBC1 Fri around 10pm
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Special

  • Surviving Christmas (24 Dec 96)
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Series 7 (6 Jan 97 - 24 Feb 97)

  • The Elephant's Child (6 Jan 97)
  • Reviewing The Situation (13 Jan 97)
  • http://etc (20 Jan 97) (this isn't a link, the title was "http://etc")
  • Wake Up The Lion Within (27 Jan 97)
  • The Disappearing Act (3 Feb 97)
  • Gavin Featherly RIP (10 Feb 97)
  • Exposed (17 Feb 97)
  • Curse Of The Tiger Women (24 Feb 97)
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External links

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