Wikipedia:Wikipediholic
From Free net encyclopedia
Template:Humor A wikipediholic or wikiholic is someone with a serious addiction to anything involving the words "Wiki" and "Pedia" in the same word or sentence. One of the main, and most common characteristics of the condition is the victim having a web browser window constantly open to the Recent Changes section of Wikipedia (or in the condition's slightly milder form, one's Watchlist), and pressing the "Reload" or "Refresh" button with a high frequency. Others click the "random page" button instead. It can lead to a serious decrease in productivity in all other areas of the victim's life, like any other addiction. That's why we're called "Users", after all.
This is a recent phenomenon – having been made possible by the creation of Wikipedia in January 2001 – and affects primarily computer programmers, academics, graduate students, gameshow contestants, news junkies, the unemployed, the soon-to-be unemployed and, in general, people with multiple interests and good memories.
Although people who fit those descriptions are welcome, especially the coconut monkeys, they should know that their fellow primates do not necessarily share their world-view, and that it may be better for wiki itself if they take a walk once in a while, and remember that their body consists of more than fingers, eyes, brain, and bladder. And that wiki exists to serve us, not as an end wholly in itself.
An alternative addiction is "wikistalking". Wikistalkers have gotten over their addiction to editing, however, enjoy watching, even the most minute changes. They most probably check Newpages continuously.
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You know you have a problem when...
- You check your watchlist more than your email inbox.
- You realize you're editing pages on a Friday night.
- You have conversations with your sock puppet on the talk pages.
- With your web browser closed, you feel the absence of not being logged on to the community.
- You have an account with one or more other Wikipedias or other Wikimedia projects.
- You accidentally sign emails with four tildes, try to italicize with apostrophes, etc.
- If so much as one thing you don't know comes across your mind, you bolt for the nearest computer to see if Wikipedia has a page on it.
- If it does, you drop whatever you were doing before the urge took you and edit the page obsessively.
- If it doesn't, you obsessively check every single paper encyclopedia you have and search six different search engines for information on the subject. Then you proceed to write three screens worth on the topic and create an article on it, which probably will never be seen or thought about by another being in a thousand years.
The Wiki Prayer ([1], adapted from The Serenity Prayer)
- God, grant me the serenity to accept the pages I cannot edit,
- The courage to edit the pages I can,
- And the wisdom to know the difference.
The Subterranean Wiki Prayer Revisited, Nos. 5 and 36
- Johnny edits the Main Page
- I re-write the Stone age
- Napoleon and Shakespeare dress like a light bulb
- We'll be here all night – refresh the same page
See also: Wikipedia:The Wikipedian's Prayer
The 12 steps of recovery for Wikipediholics
- We admitted we were powerless over Wikipedia; that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that an Author of Knowledge greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our obsession for editing and article creation over to the care of The Author of Knowledge as we understood Him.
- Made a searching and fearless knowledge inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to the Author of Knowledge, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our factual mistakes and gaps.
- Were entirely ready to have the Author of Knowledge remove all these factual defects.
- Humbly asked Him (or Her) to remove our shortcomings by motivating us to be diligent in our research and study.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed by spreading unverified rumors, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Continued to take personal knowledge inventories and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with the Author of Knowledge, as we understood Him (or Her), praying only for knowledge of His (or Her) will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Wikipediholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
With all due reverence and respect to those who suffer from genuine addictions and have found relief and recovery through 12-step programs.
Those wishing to get rid of the habit, may wish to check themselves in the Clinic. Those who are sick of all these jokes and just want to talk to someone may wish to check the talk page.
The stages of Wikipediholism
Risk factors
Those who are the most at risk for catching the disease are those who have created an account, have access to a computer constantly and consistently, and who like the idea of a wiki. Those with Editcountitis may have elevated risk factors, as do hackers and Firefox enthusiasts (because of their exposure to open source technology).
Early stages
The patient finds that they "like" Wikipedia. They use the Main Page as a bookmark and consult the articles for information. They contribute articles that they find lacking. They learn basic wiki markup. They can, however, give up now and cure themselves.
Middle stages
The patient uses the Main Page or their watchlist as bookmarks and their homepage. They reduce other online activities. They may join a WikiProject and contribute heavily to articles, as well as try editing outside the article and talk namesapces. They learn basic HTML and advanced wiki markup. They request to become an Administrator, and proudly show off their barnstars. Most refuse cures, which are still available.
Late stages
The patient uses their watchlist as their homepage. They may also explore the Recent changes. They reduce other "real world" activities. They may join multiple WikiProjects and contribute very heavily to many articles, as well as try editing heavily outside the article and talk namespaces. They learn advanced HTML and master wiki markup. They become an Administrator. They may use third party software to edit Wikipedia, and accumulate many barnstars. Cures become scarce.
Extreme stages
The patient uses the Recent changes as their homepage and identifies as a Recent changes patroler. They reduce all other activities besides those relating to "real world" health and Wikipedia (and sometimes endanger the former). They join multiple WikiProjects and contribute very heavily to many articles, as well as to the core of running Wikipedia. They master HTML and rewrite the Manual of style. They request to be a Bureaucrat. They shun third party software, prefering the "raw" Wikipedia experience. The have so many barnstars they take them off their userpage because they take up too much room. Extreme denial may result, and cure is almost impossible.
Alternatives to Cure
For those who see no end to their Wikipediholism may want to try Department of Fun to keep things interesting also keep an eye out for more Wikitivities. For instance write songs as laments of despair over their lost and ruined lives.
You might also want to try a cure of wikipatch. In case of dire emergency and should all else fail, consider checking in the Clinic for Wikipediholics.
You might join troll organizations, but, likely, you will find little solace there, since trolls have poor social support for each other, and they are still stuck here like the rest of us.
Perhaps the most effective solution of all is to embrace your wikipediholism, accept it as part of your identity, and cherish it. Don't just admit it - brag about it! And if others call you a wikipediholic, take that as a compliment. If they call you a troll, and they will, so what? We're all trolls here: Eventually.
- User:Bryan Derksen A Wikipedian (not bot) with one of the highest edit counts, in 5 figures.
- User:Whopper A Wikipedian who has the highest score on the Are you a Wikipediaholic? test.da:Wikipedia:Wikiholisme
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