Sir Robin

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Sir Robin the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot (also known as Sir Robin the Chicken-hearted) is a comic fictional character played by Eric Idle in the film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and by David Hyde Pierce in the Broadway musical Spamalot. He is a fictional creation of the Monty Python team and is a purported Knight of the Round Table. His standard is that of a chicken. He was defeated by a chicken, and still wets himself. He showed this by doing it at Badon Hill.

Sir Robin is a knight noted for his extreme cowardice, and for the band of minstrels (their leader is played by Neil Innes, who wrote their songs) who follow him around singing of his bravery and the tortures he will bravely endure, or of how bravely he ran away when faced with real danger. During a famine the minstrels are eaten by the knights, to everyone's relief.

Robin survived dangers such as a three-headed giant (played by Terry Jones, Graham Chapman, and Michael Palin), the Rabbit of Caerbannog ("I soiled my armour I was so scared"), and the Legendary Black Beast of Aaaargh, all simply by running away at the right moment. When he finally faced danger—the three-question challenge of the Keeper of the Bridge of Death (Terry Gilliam)—he was cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril for not knowing the name of the capital of Assyria.

Quote

… Who had nearly fought the Dragon of Agnor …
… Who had nearly stood up to the vicious Chicken of Bristol …
… and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill.

Brave Sir Robin

These are the lyrics for that beloved song the Minstrels sang:

• Part 1

Bravely Bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot'.'
He was not afraid to die, oh Brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, Brave Sir Robin.

His head smashed in
And his heart cut out
And his liver removed
And his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped
And his bottom burnt off
And his penis -- "Okay lads, that's enough music for now!!"

• Part 2

Brave Sir Robin ran away. "No!"
Bravely ran away, away. "I Didn't!"
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled. "All Lies!"
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin! "I Never!"

He's packing it in
And packing it up
And sneaking away
And buggering off
And chickening out
And pissing off home
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge.