Lightbulb joke

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The lightbulb joke is an example of an endless-variations joke and has possibly thousands of versions covering every imaginable culture, belief, occupation and special-interest group. Generally the punchline is not complimentary to the group providing the subject of the joke.

The generally acknowledged "original" goes as follows:

Q: How many [insert chosen group here] does it take to change a lightbulb?
A-1: Ten — one to hold the lightbulb and nine to turn the ladder around.

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Basic Variations

Even the original is subject to variation, the most common involving more people turning the entire house around.

Once the subject is chosen, variations on the joke tend to achieve their comedic effect by highlighting features of the cultural or social group based on altering five main variables:

  • the quantity (ten, three, two, none, millions) of light bulb changers can be adjusted in unexpected ways in the punchline
Q: How many martians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One and a half.
Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1.0±0.3, 19 times out of 20.
Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a hardware problem.
Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. "We'll fix it in software."
Q: How many monkeys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three; one to screw in the lightbulb, and two to throw feces at each other.
  • the duration can be introduced as a variable, usually if the answer is "one"
Q: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but it takes eight billion years.
Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Any number, but they always screw it up.
Q: How many men does it take to install a light bulb?
A: Three. One to install it, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing.
Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb
A: That's not funny!
Q: How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs.
Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only two, but God knows how they got in there!
Q: How many nuns does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Zero. Nuns are sworn to a vow of chastity.
  • the word light can be used to mock or highlight the attitude of the subject towards light or darkness
Q: How many Zen gurus does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None; only the inner light matters.
Q: How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They prefer to sit in the dark and cry.
  • the word change can refer either to replacing a light bulb or making a cultural or structural change
Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but only if the lightbulb really wants to change.

Other variations exist that achieve their effect through dramatic alteration of the joke paradigm itself; for example, by revealing the joke variables in an extremely long fashion.

Q: How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence.
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and another to chainsaw the chameleon in the bathtub while painting a song in ultra-violet colors.
Q: How many Vietnam veterans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: You'll never understand, you weren't there.
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn't matter how many you have, none of them will ever trust any of the others to hold the ladder steady.

A further variation plays with the structure of the joke itself (often only making comedic sense when read as part of a list of regular lightbulb jokes). For example:

Q: One
A: How many time-travellers does it take to change a lightbulb?
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Geographical or ethnic variations

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General all-purpose ethnic version

This generic usability prompted one commentator to create the "all-purpose ethnic version" which reads as follows:

Q: How many members of a (given demographic group) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 'N+1' — one to hold the lightbulb and N to behave in a fashion generally associated with a negative stereotype of that group.

There is no uniformity as to the target of derision: in America it has been the Polish people, while in Great Britain it is the Irish who are lampooned (in Wales it is the "Cardis"). In Australia the New Zealanders are the target of the jokes, and in New Zealand the Australians are made fun of. The Canadians target their own Newfoundlanders, or "newfies". The jokes are by no means limited to English-speaking countries. For example, the Russians tell the same joke about the Moldavians, Chukchi and Ukrainians. The Ukrainians, in turn, tell it about Russians; the Spanish make fun of the inhabitants of Lepe, while the Colombians make fun of the inhabitants of Nariño, and the rest of the Spanish-speaking population laugh at the Galicians; the Brazilians mock the Portuguese; the Portuguese mock the Brazilians; the Norwegians laugh at their Swedish neighbours, and conversely, the Swedes tell the same joke about Norwegians; the Germans target the East Frisians; The Dutch and French target their Belgian neighbours and the Indians target the Pakistanis. The Finns target everyone, including themselves. In Costa Rica, people joke about foreigners from Nicaragua.

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See also

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External links

es:Chiste del bombillo ja:電球ジョーク

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