Kübler-Ross model
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The Kübler-Ross model describes, in five discrete stages, the process by which people deal with grief and tragedy. Terminally ill patients are said to experience these stages. The model was introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. The stages have become well known, and are called the Five Stages of Grief.
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Enumeration of stages
The stages are:
- Denial and isolation: "This is not happening to me."
- Anger: "How dare God do this to me."
- Bargaining: "Just let me live to see my son graduate."
- Depression: "I can't bear to face going through this, putting my family through this."
- Acceptance: "I'm ready, I don't want to struggle anymore."
Applicability
Kübler-Ross originally applied these stages to any form of catastrophic personal loss, such as the death of a loved one, or even divorce. She also claimed these steps do not necessarily come in order, nor are they all experienced by all patients, though she stated a person will always experience at least two.
Others have noticed that any significant personal change can follow these stages. For example, experienced criminal defense attorneys are aware that defendants who are facing stiff sentences, yet have no defenses or mitigating factors to lessen their sentences, often experience the stages. Accordingly, they must get to the acceptance stage before they are prepared to plead guilty.
Grief
In popular culture these stages are almost exclusively applied only to news of one's own impending death. The notion that to resolve grief they must all be followed, in order, is also common.
Although, in 1974, "The Handbook of Psychiatry" defined grief as "...the normal response to the loss of a loved one by death," and other kinds of losses were labeled "Pathological Depressive Reactions," this has become the predominant way for counselors and professionals to approach grief, loss, tragedy and traumatic experiences.
Criticisms
While the model is now quite celebrated, it cannot be taken as normative.
Critics call the Kübler-Ross model too vague, simplistic, and non-prescriptive.
People can react to grief in many different ways, and the model provides no method to move a person to the "acceptance" stage. And even once reaching this stage, the model provides no guidance to people who may then have to live in a significantly-changed situation.