B'nai Mitzvah

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(Redirected from Son of the Commandment)

When a Jewish child reaches the age of maturity (12 years for girls, 13 years for boys) that child becomes responsible for him/herself under Jewish law. At this point a boy is said to become Bar Mitzvah (בר מצוה, "son of the commandment"); a girl is said to become Bat Mitzvah (בת מצוה, "daughter of the commandment"). In Biblical Hebrew, the word "ben" or "bat" could also mean "subject to," e.g., a particular tax, penalty, or obligation; therefore a more accurate translation of the term may actually be "subject to commandment." The plural form term for people of obligation is B'nai Mitzvah (or B'not Mitzvah if all the people are female), though when referring to multiple celebrations, many mistakenly say "Bar" or "Bat Mitzvot."

In popular usage, the terms "Bar Mitzvah" and "Bat Mitzvah" are often mistakenly used to refer to the event itself; however the term actually refers to the boy or girl. The event is often misunderstood to be a rite of passage by which a Jewish boy or girl becomes a Jewish adult, but in fact it is merely a celebration of the adulthood that came about automatically by virtue of age. The ceremony itself does not change the status of the celebrant nor does it imbue any additional rights or responsibilities beyond those which were automatically imbued on a boy's 13th (or girl's 12th) birthday.

Before this age, all the child's responsibility to follow Jewish law and tradition lies with the parents. After this age, the children are privileged to participate in all areas of Jewish community life and bear their own responsibility for Jewish ritual law, tradition, and ethics.

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Jewish boys

The current way of celebrating one's becoming a Bar Mitzvah did not exist in the time of the Bible, Mishnah or Talmud. This ceremonial observation developed in medieval times.

The current practice is that on a Shabbat shortly after his 13th birthday, a boy may recite the blessings for the Torah reading, read from the Torah (five books of Moses) and Haftara (Selections from the books of the Prophets), and give a d'var Torah, a discussion of that week's Torah portion. One may also lead part or all of the morning prayer services. Calling the boy to say the Torah blessings is called an aliyah. Precisely what the Bar Mitzvah should lead during the service varies from one congregation to another, and is not fixed by Jewish law. The Sephardic Jews tend to bring the boy into adulthood a little later than Ashkenazi Jews, waiting until after their 14th birthday. This may have to do with the Ashkenazi being a much older sect than the Sephardic who have been in the diaspora much longer. Notwithstanding the celebrations, however, males become entirely culpable and responsible for following Jewish law at the age of 13.

Sometimes the celebration is during another service that includes reading from the Torah, such as a Monday or Thursday morning service, a Shabbat afternoon service, or a morning service on Rosh Chodesh, the new moon. The service is often followed by a celebratory meal with family, friends, and members of the community. In the modern day, the celebration is sometimes delayed for reasons such as availability of a Shabbat during which no other celebration has been scheduled, or the desire to permit family to travel to the event, however this does not delay the onset of rights and responsibilities of being a Jewish adult, which comes about strictly by virtue of age.

In North American culture, the celebratory meal associated with becoming a Bar Mitzvah sometimes outshadows the religious ceremony, to the point of rivaling a wedding celebration in expense and extravagance. These "over-the-top" celebrations are sometimes referred to, sardonically, as "a lot of bar, but not a lot of mitzvah."

Many Jewish boys do not have a Bar Mitzvah celebration, perhaps because the family is too poor or do not belong to a Synagogue or Shul (a Jewish worship house), or perhaps because they are hidden Jews in the diaspora. In this case the 13th birthday can be considered the child's coming of age. Not having a Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration does not make the child becoming an adult any less of a Jew. Although some people wish to be "Bar Mitzvahed" as an expression of their faith, this has no religious significance. ("Bar Mitzvahed" is an incorrect use of the term as a gerund. The proper way to say it is "to become a Bar Mitzvah".)

Jewish girls

Except in Italy, no ceremony parallel to a boy's Bar Mitzvah ceremony developed for girls before the modern age. The Orthodox Jewish Italian rite for becoming Bat Mitzvah made a great impression on Rabbi Mordecai M. Kaplan, a rabbi who was originally Orthodox, became Conservative, and then became the founder of Reconstructionist Judaism. Through his influence at the Jewish Theological Seminary of America, in New York, Jews from all branches of non-Orthodox Judaism learned about and emulated this rite. Since the emergence of this custom in America was led by non-Orthodox Jews, at the time most Orthodox rabbis strongly rejected its usage, despite its Italian Orthodox background.

The first public celebration of a Bat Mitzvah happened on March 18, 1922 at the Society for the Advancement of Judaism in New York City when Judith Kaplan, daughter of Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, was called to the Torah. As the ceremony became accepted for females as well as males, many women chose to celebrate the ceremony even though they were much older, as a way of formalizing and celebrating their place in the adult Jewish community.

Today, most non-Orthodox Jews celebrate a girl's becoming Bat Mitzvah in the same way as a boy's becoming Bar Mitzvah. All Reform and Reconstructionist, and most Conservative synagogues have egalitarian participation in which women may read from the Torah and lead services. Conservative Judaism is pluralistic, and a small percent of Conservative synagogues are still concerned about the halakhic propriety of women reading the Torah portion to men.

Many girls in the non-Orthodox movements celebrate becoming Bat Mitzvah at age 13, like the Jewish boys, rather than at the actual age 12. However, this is basically a moot issue, as non-Orthodox Jews do not follow the obligatory requirements of the Torah as prescribed by their Orthodox counterparts.

The majority of Orthodox Judaism rejects the idea that a woman can publicly read from the Torah or lead prayer services, but the public celebration of a girl becoming Bat Mitzvah has made strong inway in Modern Orthodox Judaism and in some elements of Haredi Judaism, especially Chabad Lubavitch. In these congregations women do not read from the Torah or lead prayer services; however Orthodox girls will lecture on a Jewish topic to mark their coming of age, learn a book of Tanakh or seder of Mishnah, recite the verses from other texts (such as the Book of Esther or Psalms) or prayers from the siddur.

Jewish adult responsibilities

Once a child is Bar or Bat Mitzvah, he or she is responsible for participating in all the mitzvot. He or she is not innocent anymore, and is responsible for his or her own actions (good or bad). Traditionally, the parents of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah give thanks to God that they no longer have to carry the burden of their child's sins.

As an adult, the new "Bar Mitzvahed" individual is eligible to be called to read from the Torah, to participate in a Minyan, and even (in theory) to be married according to Jewish law. (In Orthodox sects, only males read from the Torah or participate in a Minyan).

Humanist Judaism's procedures

Instead of reading from the Torah, some Humanist Jews prefer to research, write, and present a research paper on a topic in Jewish history to mark their coming of age. [1]

Second Bar Mitzvah

Among religious Jews, it is customary for a man who is lucky enough to reach the age of 83 to celebrate a second bar mitzvah, under the logic that a "normal" lifespan is 70 years, so that an 83-year-old can be considered 13 in a second lifetime. This practice is now becoming more common among the less orthodox denominations as well. [2] [3].

B'nai Mitzvah gifts

As with weddings, sweet sixteen parties, and other life events, it is common to give the Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebrant a gift to commemorate the occasion. Traditionally, common gifts included books with religious or educational value, religious items, writing implements, savings bonds (to be used for the child's college education) or gift certificates [4], [5]. In modern times, gifts of cash are becoming the norm. Because the Hebrew word for "life", ("chai") is also the Hebrew number 18, monetary gifts in multiples of 18 dollars (i.e. $36, $180, etc.) are considered to be particularly auspicious. Besides being the hebrew word for life, 18 is also known as lucky and when you give 18 at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah it is known as lucky and 36 is double lucky. Many B'nai Mitzvah also receive their first tallit from their parents to be used for the occasion.

White House greetings

With an advance notice of six weeks, U.S. citizens can request a White House greeting from the President to commemorate a Bar Mitzvah (among many other life events). More information and criteria are available at http://www.whitehouse.gov/greeting/.

Modern criticism

Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebrations in the Western world have become increasingly elaborate and expensive in recent decades, sometimes even rivaling weddings in their extravagance. Many religious leaders and laypeople have expressed concern that these festivities, which they view as excessive, distract from the original purpose of the celebration: the transition from childhood and innocence to adulthood and responsibility.

This phenomenon is most pronounced in affluent American Jewish communities, and may result from the desire by Jewish children to have a cultural equivalent of the American sweet sixteen party or the Catholic confirmation.

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Jewish life topics
Birth: Brit milah | Zeved habat (Simchat Bat) | Hebrew name | Redemption of First-born (Pidyon Haben)
Coming of Age: Upsherin | B'nai Mitzvah
Adult: Ablution in Judaism | Prayers and blessings | Grace After Meals
Marriage: Matchmaking | Role of women | Niddah | Mikvah | Tzeniut | Get (divorce document)
Judaism : 613 commandments | Customs | Torah study: Weekly portion; Talmud study (Daf Yomi) | Jewish holidays
Cultural: Israel | Diaspora | Immigration into Israel | Charity
Items of religious significance: Sefer Torah | Tzitzit | Tallit | Tefillin | Yarmulke-Kippa | Menorah | Mezuzah
Death : Chevra kadisha | Shiv'ah | Kaddish | Tehillim | Yahrzeit | Yizkor edit
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