Glasgow patter

Glasgow patter or Glaswegian is an anglicised urban Scots dialect spoken in and around Glasgow. The Glasgow patter has evolved over the centuries amongst the working classes, Irish immigrants and passing seamen in the dockyards. The dialect is a west central lowland Scots dialect, and features a varied mix of typical Scots expressions and vocabulary, as well as some examples of rhyming slang, local cultural references and street slang.

'The Patter' is used widely in everyday speech in Glasgow, even occasionally in broadcasting and in print. It often reflects the Glasgow sense of humour. 'The Patter', as with all dialects, is constantly evolving and updating itself, forever generating new euphemisms, as well as nicknames for well-known local figures and buildings.

The thicker Glaswegian patter is seen by many (particularly English) people as mutually unintelligible with standard English and a dialect in its own right (see Scots language for further discussion). This is evidenced by many call centres around the United Kingdom that have separate offices to transfer Glaswegian/Scots customers to if the English call-worker cannot understand them.

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Reference Books

Michael Munro wrote a light-hearted yet accurate and informative guide to Glasgow Patter entitled The Patter, first publised in 1985. With humourous illustrations by David Neilson, and later by Paisley-born artist and playwright John Byrne, the book became very popular in Glasgow and the rest of Scotland, and was followed up by The Patter - Another Blast in 1988, with The Complete Patter, an updated compendium of the first and second books, being published in 1996.

To date, these books are probably the best written guide for anyone wishing to understand more about the Glasgow Patter.

In 1997, Jamie Stuart, an elder in the Church of Scotland, produced "A Glasgow Bible", relating some of the biblical tales in the Glaswegian vernacular.

Popular Scottish television comedies like Rab C. Nesbitt, Chewin' the Fat and Still Game also provide reference material, as well as having contributed popular new expressions to 'The Patter' themselves.

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Examples

Some examples courtesy of The Complete Patter (1996) by Michael Munro:

bahookie (may be spelt bahoochie) - The backside: 'They're no makin jeans that'll go over that big bahookie.'

baffies - Slippers.

bampot - An idiot, fool, or sometimes a nutcase. This is often shortened to bam, and any eccentric named Thomas risks being dubbed "Tam the Bam".

message - To go (for) or do the messages means to do the shopping. The items bought are known as messages. "Wis that you Ah saw staggerin up the road wi a ton a messages?" A shopping bag is often referred to as a message bag. Any kind of errand, not just to buy something, may be called a message: "She'll be back in a minute: she's just away a wee message." To give someone the message is to convince him of the error of his ways, either by verbal chastisement or physical force: "Boy, Ah'll gie you the message all right if Ah catch ye at this wee gemme again."

Polis - This can mean the police ("Ah'm gauny get the polis tae youse"), an individual police officer ("He's no a bad big guy...fur a polis"), or a number of police officers ("Ah seen him runnin doon the back lane wi two polis on his tail"). A police station is often referred to as a polis office (pronounced oaffis): "Ah'm phonin the polis office if youse don't turn doon that racket." The word also turns up in the phrase murder polis which can either be an exclamation of consternation or shock ("Murder polis! The weans've broke ma washin line!") or a description of a difficult or confused situation ("It'll be murder polis gaun tae work the morra if they don't get these roads gritted"). Polis is also the Gaelic, Turkish and Swedish word for police.

skoosh - Any fizzy soft drink: "Ah could murder a big boatle a skoosh!" A skoosh or skoosh-case is something that is done with no great effort: "Ah tried tae convince aul greetin-face the flittin would be a skoosh-case but ye can tell her nuthin." To skoosh something or skoosh it is to accomplish it with ease: "Just concentrate on yer three-point turns an ye'll skoosh that drivin test." "Skooshed" is another word for drunk: "He wis that skooshed ye couldny make oot a word he wis sayin."

stowed out - Full up: "The club wis stoed out". (Standard Scots would use the word oot, rather than the anglicised out.)

Ginger - Any carbonated soft drink, though particularly a bright orange fizzy drink called "Irn-Bru".

Awryte - A greeting often shortened to Ryt "Awryte Pal am away oot fur a bevvy".

Bevvy - Any alcoholic drink. "Have you been oan the bevvy??"

Nip - To nip someone is to "pull" them; "Am nippin her eh nite", also known as "lumbering". Can also refer to french kissing.

Particks - A term for breasts which came about through a number of slang words and a pub (The Partick Smiddy) "Oh aye, she's getting her particks oot the noo"

Jeg - Any carbonated soft drink. (Mostly notably Irn Bru)

Mad wi' it - Phrase meaning drunk or intoxicated. "He's mad wi' it"

Cludgie - A Toilet

A feature of Glasgow Patter which makes it even more unintelligible to outsiders is that words are often strung together, as in:

Nawamurnae (No A'm arna) - No I am not.

Ayeamurr - (Ay A'm are) Yes I am.

Geezabrek - (Gie's a brek)Give us a break.

Uryegauntaethegemmethemorra (Are ye gaun tae the gemme themorra)- Are you going to the game tomorrow?

Also, some nicknames for Glasgow buildings and well-known figures:

Lazarus Lally - former Glasgow Lord Provost Pat Lally, known as 'Lazarus Lally' because of his numerous political comebacks.

Lally's Palais - nickname for the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall, which Pat Lally as Lord Provost had a major role in establishing in 1990.

Fort Weetabix - St Mungo Museum of Religious Life and Art [1] - an irreverent nickname born from the rough-hewn stone work.

The Tech - a long ago nickname for the University of Strathclyde (formerly the Royal College of Science and Technology). The term Techie refers to a student or graduate of the institution.

The Rottenrow - otherwise known as the Glasgow Royal Maternity Hospital (now demolished), named after the street of the same name.

Paradise - common nickname for Celtic Park, particularly among Celtic supporters.

The Glasgow Greenhouse - at the time of its opening, this was a common nickname for the St Enoch Centre shopping mall; its massive glass roof (the largest of its kind in Europe) resembling a giant greenhouse.

The Big Red Shed - a long ago nickname for the Scottish Exhibition and Conference Centre (SECC), which has since been painted grey. The Clyde Auditorium has now been built next to the SECC. Reminiscent of the Sydney Opera House, it has been nicknamed The Armadillo.

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